Interview with a Sith 56 - DARTH PLAGUEIS
by scottivan
Summary: Have you ever wanted to interview a sith lord outside of the dark side?


**Today, I interview legendary Dark Lord Darth Plagueis, the**  
**apprentice of the late Darth Tenebrous, and master of Darth Sidious.**  
**(Approx. 142 BBY - 32 BBY)**

**INTERVIEWER** \- Thank you for meeting with me, Mr. Damask. Would you  
prefer I call you Magister Damask or Darth Plagueis?

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- Isn't "Darth" a title given to sith lords? What makes  
you think that a humble old Muun like myself would know of such things?

**INTERVIEWER** \- Magister Damask, the Republic has been growing stagnant  
and corrupt for thousands of years, led by the jedi. People have been waiting  
for the return of the sith, to restore a sense of renewed hope and purpose to  
the galaxy. It is time for change.

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- Very well. You may refer to me as Darth Plagueis.  
What is it about the sith, which catches your interest?

**INTERVIEWER** \- For starters, their long and glorious history. Throughout  
the storied history of the sith, while there has been several thousand sith lords;  
there has only been a handful of truly powerful dark lords that have reshaped  
the galaxy. Men like Tulak Hord, who created over 200 spells, and Emperor Vitiate,  
who ruled the sith empire for almost 1200 years. There has even been great  
visionaries like Darth Bane, who destroyed the "Brotherhood of Darkness" and rebuilt  
the sith, so that there would only be two at any one time. Many consider Lord Bane to  
be the sith'ari of sith folklore. How would you rate yourself against these legends?

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- At the top, naturally. With my study of midi-chlorians, I will soon  
learn to control the force. I will be able to control both life and death itself.

**INTERVIEWER** \- In that case, would you mind if I offered two suggestions, which you  
may not have considered? Have you ever heard of a sith lord named Simus? He was the  
master or teacher of the great Naga Sadow over five thousand years ago?

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- I've heard of the name. What of it?

**INTERVIEWER** \- After being a sith lord for over 100 years, the dark lord died. Simus  
fought with his chief rival, Marka Ragnos for the title of Dark Lord. Lord Simus lost  
the fight when he was decapitated. He should have died; however his strength in the  
dark side, and his vast knowledge of alchemy saved his life. He designed his own habitat  
to sustain himself.

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- How does the tale of Lord Simus help me obtain my goals?

**INTERVIEWER** \- By all rights, Lord Simus should have died that night. He had an injury  
incompatible with life. And yet his power and knowledge saved him. Wouldn't you like to  
have that kind of power, where "death has no teeth". With that kind of power, it would not  
be necessary to learn how to "cheat death" as they say.

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- Interesting theory. And your other suggestion?

**INTERVIEWER** \- Let yourself die. And then simple bring yourself back to life. No clones  
are needed. It may be a little tricky, however. If you are powerful enough in the force,  
you should be able to accomplish this feat.

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- I like your first idea better. The one without death involved.

**INTERVIEWER** \- I don't blame you. Subject change. What made you choose Sheev Palpatine  
as an apprentice? What was it about Mr. Palpatine that caught your attention?

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- I saw something in Palpatine that all masters wish to see in an apprentice;  
raw, untamed power. With me guiding him, there will be no limits to his power. Together, we will  
accomplish our objective; the complete destruction of the jedi order, and control of the galaxy.

**INTERVIEWER** \- Aren't you worried that Lord Sidious will someday fulfill the "Rule of Two" first  
ordained by Darth Bane, and betray and murder you?

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- There is no chance of that ever happening. In order to facilitate the final  
stages of Bane's "Grand Plan" for sith domination, a total trust must exist between master and  
apprentice. Such as the level of total trust between Lord Sidious and myself.

**INTERVIEWER** \- Have you ever studied sith history? Who would be your favorite sith lord from  
the past, and why?

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- I would probably say Darth Revan, due to his unique perspective of the  
force, and the roles in which both the jedi and sith fulfill within it.

**INTERVIEWER** \- Who would be your favorite jedi, if you have one?

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- Jedi masters Dooku and his former apprentice, Qui-Gon Jinn. Neither is  
afraid of challenging the "status quo" and "going against the grain". They were not you typical  
jedi masters.

**INTERVIEWER** \- Lets talk about. Do you have any favorite food? What do your taste buds crave?

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- I am what you would call a vegetarian. Every now and then I do enjoys a  
mixture of freshly picked fruits and vegetables. They MUST be fresh; no day old leftovers.

**INTERVIEWER** \- If you don't mind me asking; which keeps you busier; being the Magister for the  
InterGalactic Banking Clan, or being the reigning Dark Lord?

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- They are kind of interchangeable. One helps me accomplish my goals for the  
other. It's getting so that it would be almost impossible to separate them.

**INTERVIEWER** \- How does Darth Plagueis like to relax, when you have some free time?

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- I like taking cold showers. They keep me alert.

**INTERVIEWER** \- Cool. What would be your most prized possession?

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- Since I conduct a lot of experiments in my attempts to unlock the secrets  
of the midi-chlorians, I would say my bith subject, called Darth Venamis. He has helped a great  
deal, in my studies and research.

**INTERVIEWER** \- One final question, if I may. Is there anything that truly terrifies you?

**DARTH PLAGUEIS** \- Please don't laugh at this. I absolutely hate stuffed animals. They give me  
the creeps. Especially teddy bears.

**INTERVIEWER** \- Me to. Ever hear of a talking teddy bear named Teddy Ruxpin? I still have  
nightmares because of that evil creation.


End file.
